Conner

What does a young man get for a Christmas present these days when he's got the most important things already - good looks, good health, good prospects and good friends (not least about 13,000 of them on this very website alone)?

Well, when HMBoy Conner - undeniably our most popular new model of 2003 - got a Christmas gift recently it wasn't just the latest best selling novel, the hottest new CD or even a big box of candy.

No, for some reason (!) one of Conner's wealthier admirers was so eager to please our young stud this Christmas that he presented him with something far too big to stick under the tree or even, indeed, to get through the front door, let alone down the chimney.

No, not a giant vibrator (much as Conner would have enjoyed one!)

It was a car.

A very smart new car.

A run-around for town - ideal for Conner's nightly tours of the local bars.

But, Conner being Conner, the very first thing he wanted to do with his new toy was to see how it coped under pressure.

He took it on a good long drive.

In testing terrain.

Alone.

And that's when he broke down.

To be fair to the car, it wasn't a breakdown as such.

There wasn't anything mechanically wrong.

But Conner got a flat tyre.

Now that sort of incident might have thrown some of our other HMBoys.

Army Boy Mike knows how to fix the engine on a tank - but is hopeless with cars.

Stas's knowledge of autos is almost entirely based on his wide horizontal familiarity with a large number of back seats.

Young beach boy Ronaldo rarely sees a car from one day to the next on his Caribbean paradise.

Fashion-conscious Romeo's more interested in the tasteful colour of the upholstery than how the engine works.

And, to be honest, a few of our naughtier HMBoys are more likely to be found stealing your car than repairing it!

But Conner, as we've already seen on this site, can be very useful with his hands.

Dealing with tight nuts is no problem for him either.

And he's pretty hot stuff too when it comes to rubbing on a little grease so as to loosen things up a bit.

So he soon got the old tyre off.

But all that work in the hot sun not only got him pooped - it got him excited too.

Hot.

And nothing seemed to cool him off.

So, before putting the spare tyre in place, he decided to take a break - and brush up his skills behind the wheel at the same time.

Changing gear, for instance.

Of course, when you do that it's important to get a good, firm grip.

And to make sure the stick's moving freely and easily.

Forwards…

Backwards…

And from side to side…

Well, that all seemed OK.

And then, just when Conner thought that everything was running fine, he found another problem.

It was inevitable under the circumstances, I guess.

An oil leak.

And it was at that point, right there in the middle of nowhere, so he told me later, that he began to wonder whether he'd have been better off with that big box of candy after all.