Akmis

 Akmis...

That's an odd name.

But it's the one he's supplied to us.

Sometimes boys want to remain anonymous.  That's a bit odd when you think about it.  After all, they're are hardly doing much to hide their identities when they've voluntarily showcased themselves on an internet porn site and revealed not only all their bits and pieces but also their faces.  Still, if they don't want us to use their real names and don't come up with alternatives themselves, we just go ahead and pick ones for them.  

Sometimes a boy will have a particular feature that immediately suggests a name to our creative director.  Thus, a boy might get called "Dicky" or "Cocky", though for obvious reasons we've tended to avoid naming anyone "Asshole".

At other times, our creative man will try to find a name that can be turned into some sort of clue that lets us feature the boy in our Dick Detective feature.  Unfortunately, that doesn't work with "Akmis".  "Ma is K" or "I am KS" might just be a little too obviously anagramatic, don't you think?

Funnily enough, if you use a search engine to query "Akmis" it will think that you've made an error and throw up alternative suggestions.  They include not only a once-famous Greek Euro-pop singer but, perhaps more significantly, a range of toilet seats. 

So maybe, we'd like to think, "Akmis" is a none-too-subtle hint that our boy wants us to sit on his face?