Dmitrij

If you're old enough, you'll remember a song - the title music to a film, I think - called "What's it all about, Alfie?"

Well, I'm not sure that Alfie - or indeed, the audience - ever found out what it (whatever that was) was actually about.

But, nonetheless, it inspires me to ask this week "What's it all about, Dmitrij?"

You see, young Dmitrij tells us he's an art student.  So, when he got another of his art student friends to take these naked shots for us, they made them distinctly avant garde (as they call it: I prefer to call it arty-farty).

I mean, just for starters, there's nothing in the background of the pictures at all.  I always tell boys who want to send us shots of themselves to take them in a setting that says something about themselves and their lives.  Something that I can write about.  What does the background here say about Dmitrij?  That he's aiming for a career in upholstery and soft furnishings?

Similarly, what's with those black square things that our would-be Magritte ends up putting all over his body?  I guess Dmitrij would claim that it's some sort of "performance art" - but I know it's not exactly the performance that you and I were looking for (though thankfully we do get that too in the end).

Lastly, look at those final few shots.  Why on earth is the boy covering his face with his hands and trying to hide his identity?  Doesn't he realise that it's a bit too late for that now?  

Perhaps, though, as an art student he's modelling himself on one of today's most famous artists who also chooses to remain anonymous to the world...  I speak, of course, of the well-known Banksy.  In which case, perhaps, we might imagine that, after his work for HMBoys, young Dmitrij's planning to rechristen himself as Wanksy.