Hernando

know a dark, secluded place.
A place where no one knows your face.
A glass of wine, a fast embrace.
It's called Hernando's hideaway - OLÉ!

It's inevitable, I guess, but whenever I think of Hernando I think of that song.

Of course, it was written decades before he was even born.

But it's as though my Hernando tries to live up to it.

I say my Hernando, but, of course, he's actually anyone's Hernando - anyone, that is, who's willing to part with his asking price.

Hernando's a hustler.

A good one.

The best in Mexico City's Zona Rosa.

And, as if he's determined to live up to the song, a discreet one too.

And that suits plenty of people like me.

We don't want a "proper" relationship.

We don't want "commitment".

We don't want jealous tantrums.

We just want a good time.

And we're willing to pay Hernando to get it.

And, with that money he earns, he's sensibly gone and rented a nice dark, secluded place where there's no fear you're going to be seen visiting.

It's in a place where no one knows your face too, an area used to people coming and going and where they don't ask questions about it.

And one where Hernando lays on whatever you want - a glass of wine, a fast embrace or any other requirement within reason (or even, I'm told, outside the bounds of reason if the price is right)

I've always had the time of my life on every visit.

All you see are silhouettes.
And all you hear are castanets.
And no one cares how late it gets.
Not at Hernando's hideaway - OLÉ!

Let me show just you what you get.

First, there's a really cute face. So cute, in fact, that sometimes I'll just spend time taking a long hard look to try and commit every detail to memory until I next visit.

But the trouble is that just looking at that face makes me want so much more.

For a start, that kid's got just the cutest little ass…

Wanna see more?

I think you probably do.

But even though I suspect Hernando would spend all day with his legs in the air given half a chance, the boy's nothing if not versatile.

I guess that you've got to be in his line of work.

So he keeps the rest of the tools of his trade in good condition, too.

Very good condition.

Hernando certainly knows how to make the very most of his assets.

And he sure produces the goods.

Try him out next time you're in Mexico City.

You'll find his ad in the local press.

Give him a call and he'll give you the address.

And then it's easy…

Just knock three times and whisper low
That you and I were sent by Joe.
Then strike a match and you will know
You're in Hernando's hideaway - OLÉ!