Alexei

Truth is stranger than fiction…

In which case, I'll be upfront with the truth about this week's set of pics.

We don't know who the boy is.

Oh, don't worry… We've got a copy of his I.D. so we know he's old enough to be here.

And we know his name - Alexei.

But, apart from that, we've lost the paperwork (the boss says Jorge must have put it through the office shredder but Jorge swears it wasn't him and, even if he's dumb, at least he's honest.)

"So, Tyler", the boss said, "you're supposed to be the writer around here.

"Get writing."

But this is a tough one.

We've got dozens of pics of this boy in the bathroom.

But does he shower? (Where would gay porn be without the shower, huh?)

Well, no, actually he doesn't much. Only in just a couple of shots.

Does he take a bath? (You know, the sort where the boy's pecker just peeks through the soap subs like a submarine's periscope.)

Well, he does climb into the tub in one or two shots, but that's about it.

So maybe he takes a piss then? (Golden showers, anyone?)

Nope…

So that only leaves… You don't mean he - ?

NO!

So what exactly does this kid do?

Well, he just shows us the room.

He smiles.

He looks happy.

But basically he just shows us the room.

Like I said, this is gonna be a tough one.

In the end all I could come up with was a dumb story about Alexei being a young realtor showing a gay couple around a San Francisco apartment.

And then, finding that the place isn't really what they're looking for - just take a look at the primitive hot water system! - Alexei turns to desperate measures to make the sale.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Feel how powerful the heating system is", he says.

"I'm gonna have to take off my shirt."

(OK, Hemingway this isn't - but I haven't started my writing course yet!)

And then he says something like…

"Say, we're all guys here, right?

"You won't mind if I take a little more off?

"It's just so warm in here."

And then he gets on with the sales pitch…

"See how easy it is to get into the tub…"

"And everything's pretty solidly made too.

"It doesn't give an inch when I shove it…"

"The floor's good and even…"

"There's a good water supply."

"And the whole place is really spacious and welcoming too."

"So what else do I have to do to convince you guys to buy?"

Which turned out to be a pretty dumb question…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Well, that's how I thought a story based on Alexei's pics might go.

But after I read it again I realised I'd made a big mistake.

Like I started off by saying, truth is stranger than fiction.

But, in the way I'd written it, it was certainly a case of fiction being pretty unbelievably stranger than the truth.