Sam / Jay

About 100 years ago, someone (Rudyard Kipling?) said "To be born an Englishman is to win first prize in the lottery of life."

OK, it's no longer true as a whole.

But there's one particular sense in which it's still a valid remark.

Because anyone born speaking the English language undoubtedly has a head start in life today.

Which language is more widely spoken geographically than any other?

English.

Which language is spoken by the world's only superpower?

English.

Which language is the overwhelming choice of second language all over the world?

English.

And, maybe most significantly of all, which language is the medium of choice internationally on the internet?

English.

And that's why we often take it for granted and wrongly assume that everyone we meet will have a good grasp of English and will know exactly what we mean when we talk to them.

But that's not, as we'll see today, always the case.

Remember HMBoy Sam?

And remember HMBoy Jay?

Well, at the time those boy's pics both appeared here separately, the boss was pretty disappointed.

"Hell," he said, "they're cute enough boys.

"How come the response isn't a bit more positive?"

And, after thinking about it long and hard (what other way would the boss of HMBoys.com think about it?!!!), he came up with the answer.

"They're just too small and puny looking", he said.

"Our members like something just a little bit better built."

But, instead of writing Sam and Jay off completely, he e-mailed them to say that he still had faith in them and that he'd try with them again.

But, this time, each one would have to find some nice butch-looking kid and pair up with him in a two-some.

Sadly, somewhere along the line the message got a little garbled.

Maybe it was because we asked our less-than-competent office boy Jorge to write and send them the e-mail…

Maybe it was because both kids - and especially, as we know from last time, Sam - have a few difficulties with the English language…

But, for whatever reason, when their new sets of pics finally arrived, we found that Sam and Jay just hadn't understood what we wanted at all.

Instead of going out and finding a couple of boyish hunks, they'd somehow paired up with each other!

The boss was furious to start with.

But when he took a closer look at the pics he started to change his mind.

"Y'know, they're quite sweet, really", he said.

"In fact, I'm gonna use them after all."

He's done so, though, on just one condition.

And that's that Sam and Jay spend the money on some proper English lessons.