Artem

Once he'd discovered that his friend Dmitri - last week's HMBoy - had made a little extra cash by letting it all hang out (not to say up!), young Artem was quickly in touch with us.

He's another young man in temporary limbo while seeking asylum in Western Europe, but he's finding things harder going than his friend.

"Dmitri has landed on his feet", says Artem.

"Because he's better looking than I am - and not so shy - he's made lots of new friends who are helping him in all sorts of ways.

"His friend the lawyer is helping with the asylum application.

"A doctor is giving him free health care.

"There's a dentist who's capping all his teeth for free.

"A car dealer's promised him a new motor.

"And a property developer's getting him a rent-free apartment.

"But the only friends that I've made are a veterinarian - and I don't have a dog… And a funeral director - who might be a useful contact to have in about 60 years or so…"

While we couldn't actually promise young Artem anything quite as practical - after all, we're thousands of miles and a whole ocean and continent away - we tried to cheer him up by pointing out that having his pictures on the HMBoys site would act as a sort of advert: a chance to show off his wares and to indicate his availability to a large audience of discerning connoisseurs of the young male form.

"We've got all sorts of members who might be interested in meeting you, Artem", we said.

"Florists…

"Ballet dancers…

"Shop assistants…

"Gynaecologists…"

At which point, for reasons we still don't understand, poor young Artem burst into tears.