Jake

“Until my eighteenth birthday I lived in the middle of nowhere with my grandma and grandpa”, explains Jake.

 

“And they were, like, straight out of American Gothic.”

 

[Just in case anyone out there isn’t familiar with it, here’s a link to Grant Wood’s famous painting that Jake referred to: www.artic.edu/artaccess/AA_Modern/pages/MOD_5.shtml ]

 

“Church three times every Sunday.

 

“No cussin’.

 

“Short pants ‘til my sixteenth birthday.

 

“And definitely no girls – not that I minded that too much, of course.

 

“In fact, sex was such a taboo subject that I wonder how the pair of them managed to produce my dad at all!

 

“I didn’t even know what a ‘penis’ was until I left home. If it had to be called anything at all – and then it was only by grandpa – it was ‘your thing’.

 

“And ‘your thing’ was definitely not something that you ever showed anyone, let alone thought about sharing with them!”

 

As you can see from today’s pics, Jake has certainly changed a lot since he left home a few months ago.

 

In fact, one or two of you might think that he’s reacted against his strict upbringing just a little too far.

 

Because, if there’s one thing that turns our boy on more than anything else these days, it’s showing his ‘thing’ off as much as he can at every opportunity he gets.

 

And that explains why he insisted on the particular location for his HMBoys photoshoot.

 

“I still call it my thing”, he tells us.

 

“A lot of guys laugh at that but I always point out that it’s no funnier than when a porno magazine refers to a guy’s dick as his ‘rock-like fuckpole’, ‘red hot manstick’ or some other crap like that.

 

“And, right now, my thing has got a lot of catching up to do.

 

“It’s been shut away for too long and so now it wants to see the world – and for the world to see it back.”

 

So, after those thousands of people in the big city spread out below him, here’s a chance for everyone here to take a look at Jake’s thing too.

 

Although, to us, we’ve gotta say that it looks a lot more like a rock-like fuckpole.